The Professional Pattern Identifier in my life, The Boyfriend, teased me the other day about a pattern in my reading habits. What? I asked, innocently. I’m not completely unaware of my tendencies; after all, I have a strict browsing order at Elliott Bay Books: Women’s Issues, History, Travel, New Fiction (and, if time allows, I look at journals and buy cute letter-pressed cards for my most recent friend who procreated). 

But this Pattern was even more specific: my favorite books are the ones that are written by women and have strong female protagonists. So you’re saying that if your all-time favorite book is Jane Eyre, and your favorite authors (you know, outside David Sedaris) include the likes of L.M. Montgomery, Jane Austen, Louise Erdrich, Isabel Allende, and Alice Munro, that there might be a pattern? Or if you knew that the Hunger Games trilogy wasn’t well-written but you just couldn’t put them down, that something might be up? Uh-huh. Some might simply argue that these writers and their respective works just happen to be awesome.

HOWEVER, this got me thinking about my reaction to Shakespeare’s Antony & Cleopatra. I guess Prof. Brad Born did not include this in the Shakespeare syllabus, because my first introduction to the play was an outdoor performance a few weeks ago (beautiful weather, great acting by Green Stage Productions). You know what? I was a disappointed in Shakespeare’s Cleopatra.

I was enthralled by Cleopatra: A Life, written by Stacy Schiff, and it is undeniable that Schiff had more secondary sources than Shakespeare (probably more time, too), and that Cleopatra was one of WS’s wittier women and all, but she came off as a little vapid. Like she might be a writer at Cosmo or Vogue writing quizzes like Make a Scene and Make Him Yours or columns about Why Manipulation Is Good for Your Relationship!

What I wasn’t seeing reflected was the Cleopatra who was the only Ptolemy ruler who ventured to learn Egyptian, the language of the common people over whom she ruled. (It is supposed that she was fluent in 6 to 9 languages, including Greek, Latin, Hebrew, and Troglodyte). Or the politician. The woman who was intelligent and stealthy enough to become one of the most powerful people in the world. Sigh. 

It’s the feminist AND the historian in me who’s disappointed! Wills, if only we could make some choice edits… Oh, right. Ok. I understand. I’ll go watch Pride and Prejudice and call it a night.  

One caveat: these things weren’t necessarily first published/unleashed upon the world in 2010. They only came to my attention in the past year.

10. The Hunger Games trilogy. Or, more specifically, the debut novel, The Hunger Games. A page-turner depicting an eerie future where teens must fight to the death on reality TV. For young adult readers. And you!

9. The Maid, a Chilean movie about… a maid. I can recreate her expressionless face quite adeptly. 

8. The Noble Fir. I strongly approve of this cider-on-tap Northwestern-themed bar with travel/hiking/camping books in their reading nook. Also, I like the large windows.

7. August: Osage County. I heart the Paramount. 

6. Jasmine pearl tea, courtesy Kuan Yin Teahouse, Wallingford. The teahouse itself is a yogic safe place, and the tea is all kinds of awesome.  

5. Tina Fey - in honor of her ongoing fabulousness. 

4. The color of the sky in the Sacred Valley, Peru. 

3. Unmistaken Child. You will not regret seeing this documentary. Tibetan landscape, reincarnation, babies… I must see it again. 

2. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. This should inform everyone’s future work/charitable donations in some way!  

1. Elliott Bay Book Company and Rancho Bravo adjacent to one another. And I thought this could only happen in my perfect world! 

Yesterday, I was annoyed that the New York Times front-and-center article was and continued to be about cables and foreign leaders and other such nonsense. Today, I am fascinated. Now this is the kind of political coverage I can get behind—it’s the People magazine of the politici. The perezhilton.com of people with actual power.

I will make light of the scandal, yes, because me worrying about Ahmadinejad will not help a) my mental health or b) our world’s safety. I survived the would-be bombing at the Portland tree-lighting ceremony on Friday, so I’m two parts reckless abandonment and one part American-born overconfidence.

The character sketches alone make scintillating reading: the leader of Libya always travels with his “senior nurse,” a “voluptuous blonde.” He’s a paranoid man, refusing to stay on any floor but the ground floor. The Italian PM was called “feckless and vain.” Not a huge surprise, seeing how the only thing I know about him is an adultery brouhaha that might’ve involved a 17-year-old. The word choice in many of the leaked cables impressed me; I haven’t seen the word “feckless” used since 2003.

Other typical tabloid-like revelations include the apparently terminal cancer of the Iranian Supreme Leader, the fact that the Yemeni President likes whiskey (a huge no-no), and that German Chancellor Angela Merkel is the only Euro leader “man” enough lead in the EU. 

As if WikiLeaks destabilizing the Middle East is not enough, the Internet is giving me ADHD. Looking for more info on the scandal, I had a compulsion to read about the hostage situation in Wisconsin, a girl who is designing great coats for homeless folks, a collective dinner project in Detroit, check three emails, and watch a short Colbert Report clip. While doing my laundry. Pack it up, self. Pack it up.